BUILDING A STRONG MARRIAGE

I just gave a talk on ‘Building Strong Marriages’ and am inspired to blog on MARRIAGE for the month of April.

Image result for Winnie the Pooh + if you live to be a hundredI like to be able to say the same as Winnie the Pooh in my marriage – to have a long and strong marriage with my husband to the very last day of our lives.

How do we have a strong marriage?

Olson and Olson did a survey of 21,501 married couples in the year 2000 and found that happy couples have BETTER

  • compatibility in personality
  • communication
  • conflict resolution skills

To have a strong marriage, get better at cultivating compatibility, communicating positively and constructively solving problems.

Cultivating compatibility

Enthusiasm 

Energy

A strong marriage has enthusiasm and energy, an article in PREPARE (a premarital program)  wrote.

To Norman Vincent Peale, enthusiasm “makes the difference between success and failure, is the spice of life, is the mental ventilation, it  cancels fear and worry and tension, builds power under your difficulties…. Enthusiasm makes all the difference.”

To be enthusiastic is to be full of God, to be energised and inspired by God.  Enthusiasm is attractive and it exudes energy.  People love to be around enthusiastic people as their moods are altered when they are in a highly charged positive atmosphere.

You can use Peter Scazzero’s emotional thermometer to practise being enthusiastic .  Enthusiasm is heightened when there is appreciation and excitement .

Image result for thermometer Appreciation or excitement (I am excited that… I appreciate)

Practise a broad range of phrases that will bring about enthusiasm and  energy

  • I like this about you (whatever ‘this’  may be)
  • I love it when you come home with a happy face
  • I appreciate it when you helped me to buy the groceries this week
  • I am excited that you have planned a movie day for the family
  • I am so looking forward to our new sofa etc

The greatest joy of connecting with our significant other is to be ENCOURAGED in the attachment.  Paul the Apostle wrote in Col 2:2 that the main goal in relationships, including marriage, is to be knit together by strong ties of love and to be encouraged in heart and united in love.

When we are encouraging, we will increase compatibility.  Don’t depreciate marriage life by counting things that are wrong. Don’t be a fault finder and have stinking thinking.  You will create a negative atmosphere and no one likes being at home.   Get better at positive talk and your compatibility level will rise.

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s